Fetish

Hokaaay. Imma blogging using my Iphone. *hopes for no grammar mistakes*
Alright. I'm listing my fetishes here online. :X haha! I just have the
sudden urge to do it!
1. Thick framed spectacles (I think I mentioned this like a billion
times)
2. The back view
3. Eye liner ASIAN guys. Ang moh guys doesn't look good with eyeliner.
Just look at Adam lambert (hope I didn't spell wrongly)! He look just
like rihanna!
4. Piercings. :DDDD
5. Guys who tie their hair :DDD
6. Guys who tie up their fringe or pin up their fringe <33333
7. Reita, Saga, Aoi are, what the Internet people call, walking
orgasms. Haha! :DDDDDD + <3333333 + (Y)

Sent from my iPhone

Jrock at 4 in the morning

Yep I just finished watching GazettE's NLSG live! I AM ENERGETIC AND ALIVE. Just looking at Reita and hearing the sound of his bass make my heart pound like mad. And my sis says I'm perverted and crazy. xD

It's 1.12am

It's 1.12am. And I can't sleep. Rare isn't it? 1.12am and here am I, voluntarily awake. I'm stressed over SAT. I'm stressed because I can't score well in English. And it seems like no matter how many papers I did, I never do well. You know, I feel like a loser. Really. I did 5 papers already. I know others did fewer papers than me. But they did better than me. Do you know how bad I feel? Like, people can just overtake me in terms of grades with so little effort while here I am working my ass off for nothing. And I mean nothing. It's not like the same words are going to appear again anyway. I'm really stressed. I know all I can say is this. I know I'm like a kid who only knows how to whine and go "oh I'm a loser blabla" and just rant off how life's unfair to me. I know, I know. But I can't help it. I know I have to do something about it, but I don't know what. How can I do better?
People have been saying that I'm always lazy and that if I really put in my 100% effort I can do so much better. Somehow I really doubt that. I really think I'm not at all clever. Why do people always think I am? And it's not just one or two. It's my parents, my uncle, Mr Bob Lau, Soon Hock, and many more. Maybe it's just their way of comforting me when I didn't do well for my tests? But I think that what they say is an overstatement.
Many times I've thought about it seriously. I would say I'm clever if I understand something when it is taught to me once. But no, I usually can't understand after being explained to once. I would say I'm clever if I get good PSLE scores, O level and A level scores. But no, I didn't. And this is where the "you could have done better" comes in. "If you didn't go out that much during that time you would've done better". It's not that I didn't study. It's that I couldn't. My mind is not designed to study. Neither is it designed to work as a clinic assistant. But nobody understands. Studying is just like some antibodies you know. It's supposed to help you and it is forcifully injected into you so you'll get better. But for my body, it'll experience some kind of rejection. It's not that I don't want to accept it. But it just naturally gets rejected by the body. I guess not many people can understand what I'm trying to say. Afterall, I'm bad at expressing myself due to my lack of vocabulary and lousy cognitive skills.
But even so I won't give up yet. Maybe I should just do my best as a proud loser.
It's 1.36am now.

EVERYONE'S COMPLAINING ABOUT TEGO-NYAN'S HAIR!

HAHAHA I guess I wasn't the only one who thinks that Tego-nyan has given up on his hair. xD He was still OK in Tanabata Matsuri but wth his hairstyle now looks like that of DJ OZMA. AN AFRO ): ):
HAHA you know, actually I really like to blog about my favourite Japanese Artistes. I dunno. It just makes me happy when I do that. I think it's cos I have no one to discuss this with. ._.
Anyway, I have this music video to share! I know it's in Japanese so most of you wont be interested. But see the translation!

I really really like the lyrics and the tune. I LOVE TEGOMASS. <3
I don't know who actually watched but ah wells.

For some bloody strange reason, part of my previous post got deleted.
Is this a way of telling me to stop blogging?

Sent from my iPhone

soon

And I think I sound despo. Maybe I am cos I'll miss you and I'll keep thinking about you.
Because I'm so sick of reading my grammatically incorrect posts, I've decided to open laptop blog (Like open book test hahha).
Huuuur i'm stressed! "The grass is always greener on the other side" i know i used this phrase like a billion times now. When i was working, i thought studying was better. But now that I'm studying for SAT, I feel like working! D<>.<) We should keep our brain working! AHAH. I know this is an abrupt end to a post but my train of thoughts just got bombed by Al Queda. Hah. Kidding! I cant think properly now cos my head got whacked by some steel ytd. Naw, I wasnt attacked. I was jumping around the playground, trying to elude i-forgot-who and BAM i knocked literally head on with the shelter made of metal. (why do they make the shelter using steel anyway?) It's still hurting now. ):

The horror

I am utterly horrified and dumbstruck when I reread my previous posts
sent from my iPhone. The England was like horrigible plus terrigable.
No there are no such words I'm just exaggerating. So now, I would like
to apologise for that doesn't make sense and gramatically incorrect
posts and how it must have made you go WTF. Cos I did. The act of
trying to sound mature and intellectual gone horribly wrong. Haha!

Anyway, I LOVE HANGING OUT WITH MY 4e1 CLIQUES. this sounds corny but
I really really really really love all of you so much that I want to
marry all of you! Haha! You guys are the awesomest! <3 (luckily only
some of you read my blog :P)

Sent from my iPhone

もしも, この世界から「ごめんね」て言葉 無くなったら。。。

I hope I got the words correct. Haha! It means "if the world has no
'sorry' word..." I think. I mean, I heard this phrase from Tegomass'
new song! D: which is super nice yeah. :D
Errr, well I guess half of the world population have already forgotten
what the word 'sorry' is. People now are too egoistic to admit their
mistakes. Actually, I don't know if it's their pride or something else
that makes them not say sorry. In cases like, let's say, if there's a
traffic accident and the two owners of the cars involved comes out to
'negotiate' as the term they normally use. Usually both will not admit
their mistakes and what's more they want the other to take all the
blame. Everyone knows that's not right. Nobody should take all the
blame in any situation (yes, not even murder). But what's stopping
them to say "sorry" and just pay for each other's damage? It's easier
than going to court and create all the unnecessary hoo-ha. So is that
pride? Or is it money?
Another scenario to think about is the normal bumping-into-each-other.
And yes, people all over the world do that. And like 95.38495% of them
don't apologise. Whhhhhyyyyy? Is it because they're in a hurry? Is it
because they think we get bumped so many times we should be used to
it? And that it is just normal human contact and it's normal so no
'sorry' is needed in the making? Nah I don't think so. It is not
normal and it is certainly not JUST human contact. It's human violence
if I have to say. But it's a violence that can be forgiven with a
sorry, yes.
Many people don't know the power of an apology. It is really really
really powerful. Ok maybe only to me, maybe you guys are different, I
don't know. I remember a few instances I was mollified by that
powerful word. It's like some healing power. I am not exaggerating.
But then again, if you think about it, if everyone were to be that
nice, wouldn't the world be so boring? :)

Sent from my iPhone

Liu Jiamin!

Haha! I dunno if you're reading this but then, hurhur. This is super
gay and I was wondering if I should post this cos I feel gay. But
then, I decided to do it cos I think I should? Haha!
Anyway I dreamt last night about sth from the past. And it was a
factual event, not some random doesn't make sense one. The dream took
me back to when we were sec2. Girlfriends, though we're very close, we
are often arguing. I rmb I was very sensitive then. I tend to think
too much, much more than now, and I was emotionally weak. Once,
Crystal was acting quite cold and spoke to me in a rude way. So I was
quite upset and jm noticed it. She asked me what happened and I told
her about it. And she actually went to confront crystal about it!
Hahaha! Maybe you would have forgotten about this, like it never
happened before but for some reason, what you did really made me gan
dong much! Haha! Yeah so this was my dream. And I know other than that
event, you've also helped me much in many ways. Like that unexpected
crashing of your house in tears and those letters you've written. Omg
yeah I still have some of them. Hah!
Anyway just wanna tell you YOU'RE AWESOME. I know you're gonna say I
know. Haha!

Sent from my iPhone

NINO-CHAN IS DAMN BLOODY HAWT!

Yes yes!! I've finally found their live! Arashi's monster!! Finally, I
don't have to see only part of it from... that regular morning show I
forgot what. Nino-chan is damn damn hawt. But at one point when
matsujun fell on the floor I was like, what is this suddenly?!
But the tune is catchy! :D omg can't wait!
As a bonus, I watched the new tegomass pv! well, the two of them
looked anorexic! Like omg they lost 10kg or sth! The song's nice but
the pv is gay. Very very very gay. Like they are gay for each other
gay. But I love the song! :D

Ok now I'm feeling better. :)

Sent from my iPhone

Bored of SMS-ing

Yea so like I get irritated when I message some people. I dunno why.
It's like a mixture of irritation and boredom. But it's funny! Like
two different people can be messaging me everyday. But I get bored and
irritated with one and ok ok with another. So then I tried to think of
a reason why. The two people are of the same gender. So it's not a
matter of the gender. After some time, I realised cos one is more
predictable than the other. And that irritating and predictable one is
always talking about the same topic while the other is always about
different things. The irritating one is predictable. It's like the
person would complain about sth, then I would say sth to try to make
the person feel better, then after I sent the SMS, I have this...
Vision of the SMS that the person will send back and yes! I'm ALWAYS
right. Sometimes I really think I'm psychic. Hohoho. But it's
irritating you know, knowing what the person at the other line will
say. It's like might-as-well-do-something-else kind. Agree? YeH. And
another thing is people ranting to me. Like the person will say
blablablawhatthepersonisanassholeblablabla. HOW WOULD YOU REPLY TO
THAT HUH?! so if I say "ok calm down maybe he was in a bad mood so
just bear with it" and that person will be like "aiya dunno lah you
won't understand lah" Then what is the whole bloody point of telling
me? I mean, what do you think? Aiya I dunno lah.
And I really dislike texting guys. First, they take at least 3hours to
reply you. Second, they can never make up their bloody minds (I mean
be a man and be more bloody decisive can). Third, I can hardly
understand their short and punctuation-mark-less text. Forth, they are
not meant to use a cellphone cos they're inaudible in phone convo and
they're ambiguous in their smses. Yes. End of rant. At least I didn't
direct it to anyone.

Sent from my iPhone

"I'm not healed, but for this moment, I'm better"

Quote taken from Loose Girl by Kerry Cohen, a book that I've recently finished reading. It's a book I've gotten on sale! $12 for a hardcover book! HOHOHO!

Thanks for the very nice SMS bex! Thanks for caring! :D Well, you have to cos you're my lesbo partner (LP-acronym).

This kinda feels like A Levels seriously, for me cos my parents are seriously considering to send me to study in America. Or, if I cannot get in or sth they'll have to appeal to get me into NURSING OH GOD PLEASE HELP ME NO I DON'T WANT A JOB WITH NIGHT SHIFTS IN A HOSPITAL NOOO.

The vocab is seriously killing me. I have to practically use the dictionary for every english question i did. And manz their grammar and sentence structure is VERY different from the British (Oh GAWD).

As I've said, I need a vacation. Can someone please organise one? I can't go with weong to her kelong trip because of SAT. I need a rural escape. Yeah. I always beg my dad for one when I feel stressed. BUT THEY'RE BUSY ): ): ): And WTH my sis is going JAPAN? Walao. Shanghai in March and Japan in June?! And so bloody cheap too like wth $1000 for 7 days?! Maybe cos it's osaka. I wanna go Osaka and listen to them say "nandeyanen" or "Yappa sukiyanen" and their kansai dialects! =3= Mom is considering bringing my bro and I to Maccau and leaving my dad alone in Singapore cos he's busy. Ah well. I need a vacation, if I have to summarize my post.

EMO POST.

Yes, I guess I always feel like that when my period is coming *nodsnods* but even when i know that it's because of my M, I still want to post! (And maybe regret it later)
I dunno, but i feel like shit. Maybe it's cos people don't bloody reply to my sms-es, maybe it's because my mom wakes me up at bloody 9.30am everyday, maybe because I'm stressed over my SAT, I really don't knooooooooow.
And I realised I have a problem of hurting myself if I'm too angry. HAHA! I quarreled with my parents the other day and before I knew it, I had sunk my fingers into my arm (naw, not so deep). And I stopped. But still, there's a mark! HAHA! Now it looks like freckles.
Sometimes I really wonder to myself why I am still TRYING to hang out with those people whom I don't know ANYMORE? They're like strangers! But when they say "let's hang out!" every 1 year or so, I can't find myself rejecting them. I know I am not close to them anymore, and I've been telling myself I should tell them I want quits cos I don't feel belonged there. And I think they know cos they have mini outings between themselves, so why do they still try to keep this clique together? I really don't find the purpose. I mean, when we hang out and start gossiping or do catching up, they start talking about some particular topic I've no idea what and apparently all of the others do, and when i look shock or whatever, they go like "What? You mean you don't know? Eh you very outdated leh." Like of course? I hang out with you guys as much as i hang out with err, I don't know, my secondary school teachers? And what they expect me to ask them about their lives and not them telling me when they have new updates. Isn't that what close friends really are? You have a new update and you go around telling your close friends. If I have to ask you, doesn't that just mean I'm not close to you? And if I ask you, doesn't that make me bloody desperate? Like I have no friends? Yeah, I know I can post whatever I want cos you guys won't even look at my blog. You guys don't care. So I shan't.
I know I'm gonna regret posting this later and then I'll feel better.
Maybe all I need now is some retail therapy and sleep and a vacation.