EMO POST.
Yes, I guess I always feel like that when my period is coming *nodsnods* but even when i know that it's because of my M, I still want to post! (And maybe regret it later)
I dunno, but i feel like shit. Maybe it's cos people don't bloody reply to my sms-es, maybe it's because my mom wakes me up at bloody 9.30am everyday, maybe because I'm stressed over my SAT, I really don't knooooooooow.
And I realised I have a problem of hurting myself if I'm too angry. HAHA! I quarreled with my parents the other day and before I knew it, I had sunk my fingers into my arm (naw, not so deep). And I stopped. But still, there's a mark! HAHA! Now it looks like freckles.
Sometimes I really wonder to myself why I am still TRYING to hang out with those people whom I don't know ANYMORE? They're like strangers! But when they say "let's hang out!" every 1 year or so, I can't find myself rejecting them. I know I am not close to them anymore, and I've been telling myself I should tell them I want quits cos I don't feel belonged there. And I think they know cos they have mini outings between themselves, so why do they still try to keep this clique together? I really don't find the purpose. I mean, when we hang out and start gossiping or do catching up, they start talking about some particular topic I've no idea what and apparently all of the others do, and when i look shock or whatever, they go like "What? You mean you don't know? Eh you very outdated leh." Like of course? I hang out with you guys as much as i hang out with err, I don't know, my secondary school teachers? And what they expect me to ask them about their lives and not them telling me when they have new updates. Isn't that what close friends really are? You have a new update and you go around telling your close friends. If I have to ask you, doesn't that just mean I'm not close to you? And if I ask you, doesn't that make me bloody desperate? Like I have no friends? Yeah, I know I can post whatever I want cos you guys won't even look at my blog. You guys don't care. So I shan't.
I know I'm gonna regret posting this later and then I'll feel better.
Maybe all I need now is some retail therapy and sleep and a vacation.
I dunno, but i feel like shit. Maybe it's cos people don't bloody reply to my sms-es, maybe it's because my mom wakes me up at bloody 9.30am everyday, maybe because I'm stressed over my SAT, I really don't knooooooooow.
And I realised I have a problem of hurting myself if I'm too angry. HAHA! I quarreled with my parents the other day and before I knew it, I had sunk my fingers into my arm (naw, not so deep). And I stopped. But still, there's a mark! HAHA! Now it looks like freckles.
Sometimes I really wonder to myself why I am still TRYING to hang out with those people whom I don't know ANYMORE? They're like strangers! But when they say "let's hang out!" every 1 year or so, I can't find myself rejecting them. I know I am not close to them anymore, and I've been telling myself I should tell them I want quits cos I don't feel belonged there. And I think they know cos they have mini outings between themselves, so why do they still try to keep this clique together? I really don't find the purpose. I mean, when we hang out and start gossiping or do catching up, they start talking about some particular topic I've no idea what and apparently all of the others do, and when i look shock or whatever, they go like "What? You mean you don't know? Eh you very outdated leh." Like of course? I hang out with you guys as much as i hang out with err, I don't know, my secondary school teachers? And what they expect me to ask them about their lives and not them telling me when they have new updates. Isn't that what close friends really are? You have a new update and you go around telling your close friends. If I have to ask you, doesn't that just mean I'm not close to you? And if I ask you, doesn't that make me bloody desperate? Like I have no friends? Yeah, I know I can post whatever I want cos you guys won't even look at my blog. You guys don't care. So I shan't.
I know I'm gonna regret posting this later and then I'll feel better.
Maybe all I need now is some retail therapy and sleep and a vacation.
posted by myLIFE. at
4/17/2010 10:56:00 AM
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