down and under

I guess it's just PMS. Teared abit during kbox and on the bus just now, omg so paiseh can. Just thinking about leaving to china makes me feel kinda lonely alr. ): and that makes me... sad. The thought of not seeing my loved ones for almost half a year is just depressing. I won't be celebrating christmas and the new year with them. I'm also afraid. Afraid that when I'm finally back, everything will be different. I'm just afraid the whole world will move on without me.
Even though I'm really afraid, I'll still go. I wanna prove to my family that I can also be independent. Actually you can say that I'm throwing tantrums. When I'm at home, it just feels kinda like everyone has something to criticize about me. Because the whole world will be going to university and I won't, it makes me a loser to them, i feel. They pick on every little thing I do. From taking an afternoon nap to sleeping too late to sleeping too early to waking up late to waking up early to not making my bed to watching too much dramas to reading too many manga to going out too late to going out too much to playing too much wii games...everything.
And it doesn't help that my evil pig went MIA. I'm just worried.
Ok, I shall make a proper birthday post tmrw. kthanksbye. :D