if only
There are at least 10 if only-s i can list now. Life's full of regrets and unfairness ain't it? I should stop regretting and complaining shouldn't I? I mean, I deserve what I get. I can't help that my brain ain't made for studying.
I realised last year that studying wasn't meant for me. I hate studying. I used to say that it's ok if I can't get into a university. I can just get into some culinary school and learn bakery which is one of my interests. But you know parents. They think that only getting a degree is good for you. If I can't get into a university, I'm actually fine with it. But then I'll still be depressed cos I know I didn't live up to my parent's expectations and because then I can see how stupid I really am that I studied so hard and couldn't get anything while other people can just study a few days before and get good grades. I not made to study. Going to a JC was a big mistake. For one, just trying to sit for A levels with my kind of O level grade is a complete joke. The fact that i couldn't score well with PSLE and O levels, well, I don't think that's purely coincidence. There has to be something wrong with me to get those results right? But no, nobody gets it. JC is the only shortcut to university. Oh sure. I'm heading towards the dead end cos I took a wrong turn. But seriously, I'm not blaming anyone here. Just myself. My parents invested so much on me, and I really mean invest. Since young they've been giving me the best education. They spent so much, in hope for me to get into a uni in the future. But I stopped the tuition nonsense in primary 6. And I do mean, tuition is nonsense. Tuition is just a mean for educated people to get money by doing primary school homework. I don't learn anything in tuition. Tuition is useless to a primary school kid. Cos these kids just want tuition teacher to do their school homework. Well, I know cos that's what I did and I know of many friends who rely on tuition teacher to do their chinese compo/essay etc.
Ok I just can't continue any longer. Good night.
I realised last year that studying wasn't meant for me. I hate studying. I used to say that it's ok if I can't get into a university. I can just get into some culinary school and learn bakery which is one of my interests. But you know parents. They think that only getting a degree is good for you. If I can't get into a university, I'm actually fine with it. But then I'll still be depressed cos I know I didn't live up to my parent's expectations and because then I can see how stupid I really am that I studied so hard and couldn't get anything while other people can just study a few days before and get good grades. I not made to study. Going to a JC was a big mistake. For one, just trying to sit for A levels with my kind of O level grade is a complete joke. The fact that i couldn't score well with PSLE and O levels, well, I don't think that's purely coincidence. There has to be something wrong with me to get those results right? But no, nobody gets it. JC is the only shortcut to university. Oh sure. I'm heading towards the dead end cos I took a wrong turn. But seriously, I'm not blaming anyone here. Just myself. My parents invested so much on me, and I really mean invest. Since young they've been giving me the best education. They spent so much, in hope for me to get into a uni in the future. But I stopped the tuition nonsense in primary 6. And I do mean, tuition is nonsense. Tuition is just a mean for educated people to get money by doing primary school homework. I don't learn anything in tuition. Tuition is useless to a primary school kid. Cos these kids just want tuition teacher to do their school homework. Well, I know cos that's what I did and I know of many friends who rely on tuition teacher to do their chinese compo/essay etc.
Ok I just can't continue any longer. Good night.
posted by myLIFE. at
5/05/2010 08:06:00 PM
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